Saturday

those fricking freakydeaky android chicks

in that new Heineken ad creep me the fuck out. i mean, the one chick with crazy roboto-arms pulls a mini beerkeg out of her insides, and then all of a sudden there are three of them! stop multiplying you cyborg freaks! ... i want to shout. they all proceed to start dancing unnervingly implicatively erotically, shaking their white white vaguely asiatic exceptionally well proportioned but clearly creepazoidal cyborg bodies at me and then of a sudden pouring out a frosty mug, all the while staring straight at me, the viewer, with an expression of such demon-affected pleasure that in attempting to seem however fuckable or come-hitherish some ad wizard surmised would be impactful, these freakydeaky android chicks in reality come across as unrepentant human-haters sent from the future on a mission of committing acts of violent murder upon as many impressionable drunkards as possible. seriously, what. the. fuck. that is not what i want from my mini keg commercial.

unrelated: i noticed yesterday that the giant purple head that was in golden gate park for awhile is no longer there. this made me sort of sad; nothing was left but the stain on the grass. i always loved it when i was in the park, and saw that giant purple head. it was always so giant. and purple.

hey: hyphy slang is awesome. i got graaaayypes! i got puuuurple!

i'm thinking a ghost riding a whip would be a great halloween costume. or a man with a giant purple head. or Ahmadinejad. (timely!) or Sigourney Weaver. (from Gorillas in the Mist!) or a freakydeaky android chick.

i can't decide.

the thing about being here is that you are always right

here.

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4 comments:

LoJazar said...

creepazoidal cyborg bodies. Nice.

mexi melt said...

i miss the days of the classy beer adds.

like st. pauly girl.

sigourney weeeeevr said...

those are creepy. i don't know how to feel. do i want to fuck the mini-keg?

ismateo said...

it's a lot like Blade Runner. fuck it or kill it, fuck it or kill it? ... except no lightstick umbrellas.

and if there's one thing a beer ad should be, it's classy.